3 simple and effective ways to deal with unmet-expectations and disappointments

Prashant Pandey, Agami Kalarab: Satisfied needs do not motivate people to thrive for more. A sense of dissatisfaction is an integral aspect of every aspirational individual. The West envies the spiritual roots of the east and the east desires the materialistic comfort of the west. Everyone wants to trade places. “If only I had your experience,” expressed the youth. “If only I had your age,” replied the other.

There is no rationale to the impulses of the heart. There is no logic to desires. All expectations are baseless, and yet life is driven, controlled and run by expectations.

Instead of expectations managing your life, here are a few transformative steps, so that you can manage your expectations and thus you can manage your own life.

Firstly, you have to identify the difference between realistic expectation and unrealistic expectation. If you stand under an orange tree and expect mangoes, you are setting up for frustration. People are what they are. An organisation is what it is. Life is what life is. You expect people to be other than what they are and then you get frustrated about it. You are not just making a fool of yourself by having unrealistic expectation but also you are angry at the orange tree for not giving you mangoes. Either change your expectations according to the tree or find the tree aligned to your expectations or grow your own tree. That’s the only way to peaceful progress.

Secondly, clarify your expectations explicitly. Often, people don’t even know what you are expecting from them, so, how can they fulfill it for you? Life is already complex, let us not complicate it further and express our feelings in a simplified way. Also, one way to love people is to make things simpler for them.

Finally, instead of trying to change the world, change what is in our control. Instead of directing expectations towards the world, start turning your expectations unto yourself. By expecting from the world, you are at mother’s mercy. By expecting from yourself, you take control over your life.

It’s time to go inwards

Expectation management is actually life management.

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